What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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