Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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