Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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