What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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My cat just died.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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