There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why are roses red ? Ass in my face .

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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womens rights

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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bangers and mash?

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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