How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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Man says, "Hello" Girl, "Do you wanna go out?" Man, "With you?" Girl, "YES!" Man, "NO, bye!"

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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Japanese study of the stereotypical Italian under scientifical environment: Japanese: Test one: Hello! Italian: AHAHA HOHOO! WHOPPIE! ME IS MARIO MARIO I AM MAGIC MUSHROOM EATING PLUMBER! I AMMA GONNA JUMP ON YOU (AND gRAPE YOU!) Japanese: ACTIVATE FLAMETHROWERS GET! Italian: AHAHAHAHAHOOOOOOOOOOO! Japanese: OMG ITALIAN IS STRONG! ACTIVATE TRAP DOOR! ITALIAN: *falls down door* MAMA MIA! OH NOH! Japanese: Puh! BEWARE OF ITALIAN STEREOTYPE! Experiment two:Japanese experiment with in actual Italia: Japanese: Hello Mr Itali... Italian: Are you looking at me? Japanese: Uh well I... Italian: ARE YOU LOOKING AT MEEE? WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES EH? Japanese: Balls? Uh my mother when she gave birth to... Italian: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS TO TALK TO ME! ITALIANS ARE DANGEROUS!

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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