What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Whats 1+1? window!

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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