Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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