Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops