Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Jesus Christ

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...