Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

thumb_up thumb_down -10

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops