What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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a man makes a bad joke

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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Chris Bosh's neck

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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