Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

well use a tissue!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

no rasist joks

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

thumb_up thumb_down -35

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do we call Osama? Osama

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What does? 42

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops