Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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quantum physics?

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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