Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two black guys run into a bank with guns. They place them in their pre-payed safety deposit boxes and continue on their way as they were falling behind on their schedule.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man U

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +7

21

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops