Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Whats the difference between males and females? fe

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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