Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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Q: What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? A: Alive

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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you will like this because i am black.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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