on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Who's there You are.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops