Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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PENIS :)

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops