1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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