Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

Knock knock Who's there? Miley Cyrus Holy moly, please come in! Here's your Miley Cyrus CD you order online Thanks you Mr. Mail Man

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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