What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

a irish man walks past a bar

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

Whats two plus two Four!

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

I asked her where you were.

like if your cool

So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

Who's dumb and retarted. A person that is dumb and retarted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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