how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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PENIS

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops