Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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What do you call a black man with pantyhose on his head. A white guy in the dark with black pantyhose on his head

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops