What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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12 niqqa 12.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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