How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

What's long and black The unemployment line

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

Albino African Americans

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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