whats bloop with an m? matthew

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? Well , you see, this black mans name was yargle, and during his high school years, people always made nicknames for him some of which were fat yargle, yargaryar, and bottomyarg. He thought to himself that wanted revenge, So he killed the entire population of earth. Oh ya, and since he was the last human, wirhout possibility of reproduction, he went to the store and bought a can of soup

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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