Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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what's up? my penis.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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