A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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