What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Happy Monday!

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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