What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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