Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing.

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why did the man french kiss the horse? because he was high on l.s.d and confused the horse for an attractive male because he himself was homosexual ps vagina monkeys and chili

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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roses are grey violets are grey so says my color blind cousin

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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