Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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