"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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sky silverstein

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

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why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

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whats worse than a paper cut? getting your head chopped off

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops