How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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I'm homeless.

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? You throw an awe at it. Why did Sally fall off the swing? .....I missed the clown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops