Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

I don't get it

How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

i'm hard

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

knock knock come in

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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