Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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