what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops