A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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My peni s

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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Your mom went to college

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Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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