Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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