what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

Large 4

why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

What? Huh?

the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...