what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

jews

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

thumb_up thumb_down -23

NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops