They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops