- Anti Joke

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

25

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk...

Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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