What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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