wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Roses are flowers.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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An asian man walks into a taxi. The driver asked which chinese or electronic store woupd u like to go to?

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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