Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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stinky boner

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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