what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Ok so a black guy is packing his bags for college and then......... wait a minute?

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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