Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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