knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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