Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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stinky boner

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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