Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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american idol

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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