Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

A miserable man committed suicide.

How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

A storm be brewin!

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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