What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops