What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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White men's rights

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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