My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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