Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops