How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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AIDS

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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afbn;fjnf;ajnvaf;djvnadf;vvjkfvnfvjalnvjkfvnaeljvknfljkvndfsljvnadfjvndflvkadjnfvldjfnvlakdjfnvldfjnvaldfjkvndfjkvandfvjlkdfnvaldkjvndlfjvandflvdjnvadljfnvdlfjvnadflvjdnfvladjnvdlkfjvnadlfjvndaflvjakdnflvjdakfnvalfdknvljdnflvjdanlfjvnadflvjandfvljkfndvladjkfnvldajfknvalherluhwprgqehgpquetryhpqwiourpqoitqyert9134857wieosdfljkealdfjkgfrgjuy0qo48wriehflqgetarkgjfhjkljgbflgjbfgjbflsdjfbgbkglirueerhigqehgluqeht3qt9384yt19834ty308748574785uifhsldhfljaghlkjfghfldkjaghlkfjdhaglkjhdglkjhfdgioerqoertueroiuytqeuirytqerouityqerotuiyertiuytqoiuerhajvnasdnjkvalfn I stopped reading too.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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